When My Son Chose Crazy Over Comfort

And what he reaped when he took the plunge

Photo by Rafaëlla Waasdorp on Unsplash

The Backstory

2011 was a pivotal year for both my son and I. Spiritually speaking, we went down parallel paths; both of us attended ministry school and both of us went on our first overseas mission trip. For my son, he’d just completed an Associate’s Degree in Computer Science at our local community college and had made the decision to take a gap year before pressing on. So he could carefully consider: Did he want to press on to a four-year degree and accumulate potential debt that would normally accompany such a degree? This was the question he wanted to answer before he pressed forward in enrolling at Oregon State University.

For myself, I’d come back home from Tulsa to the home we still owned in Oregon (and our two youngest children we’d left behind in this home – the reversal of “sending your children to college”) in order to attend a local ministry school. It was a precious time we had together. And I was two years in to a life of no longer being a homeschool mom, a role that had defined me for 19 years. In short it was a transitional time for both of us. He pondered his future, while I attended ministry school, looking toward a new direction in my life.

The First Decision

My son came to me one day letting me know he was considering attending a YWAM school. He also mentioned there was a YWAM school in one of our sister cities. Whether he was inspired by me being a ministry school student, I’ll never know. What I do know is that I was instantly on board. And without any thought I spoke what rose up in my spirit: “Well, if you’re going to do YWAM, you might as well go all out and go to the school in Kona.” And this was aided by my own personal philosophy – “Go for it! Follow your dream! You’ve got your whole life ahead of you –– you’ll never know unless you do it! You don’t yet have the responsibility of family so why not!?” And enhanced by the fact that one of my ministry school guest teachers just happened to be one of the directors at Kona YWAM and that I absolutely loved my childhood years spent in Hawaii.

And so it was settled. And God made a way for my son to go to Kona. Where of course it was life-impacting and He experienced the miraculous hand of God as well as confirmation to continue on with college to take course-work to become a physicist, down to the detail of what particular aspect of physics to study and why. The impact and life-imprint of like at KONA continued and he ended up going to South Sudan; whereas I ended up going to Uganda, as part of our parallel paths that year.

Editorial Pause

Now memory is a peculiar thing and the exact timing of things eludes me a bit. Especially as I marvel at all that occurred in the course of a year. But anyway, my son gained employment well before college, doing yardwork and landscaping first for one man and then another, then unloading trucks for yet another man (oh the strength of youth) interspersed with summers spent in Alaska unloading cargo planes. But when it came time for community college and it became apparent he needed a job that would better work around his college schedule, he landed a job at Staples. At first he loved it and gained valuable skills waiting on customers and learning to fix laptops. In fact, he once boasted to me after fixing a minor issue with my laptop, “I just saved you $60 dollars mom!” while I held back from reminded him about the money I’d just saved him via the dinner I was in the process of serving him. All humor aside however, after a store transfer and a change of managers, my son’s enjoyment of his employment began to diminish. Until it became a job he outright hated. And although my son is easygoing and has great people skills, his displeasure was in large part because of continuing interactions with his new manager. Which was probably a good life experience. At least for a season.

The Crazy Decision

With the onset of another summer, my son decided he’d reached the end of his rope with the continued relational friction of working under his manager. He decided it was time to do and try something different, at least for a summer, so he took matters into his capable hands and began searching for his next job, unbeknownst to me. Until the day he came to me for advisement about “a job he’d found, but wasn’t sure it was a real job or a scam.” And the job description? “Dog-jumping judge.” You read that right – posted in plain sight on Craigslist for all to see - “dog-jumping judge.” Intriguing, right? But perhaps too good to be true was my son’s thought.

I recommended my son at least check into it. You never know until you inquire. This might be the very opportunity he was seeking. And needing. Why not seek an interview and learn more about this interesting if not peculiar-sounding job? Sometimes it’s best to let curiosity lead. And when my son showed up for the interview, it turned out to be the real deal. It was a real family traveling through the state of Oregon and beyond with a real business of hosting dog-jumping contests. All dogs and their owners were welcome and the dogs who participated jumped from a raised platform into a nice refreshing pool of water below. What could be more fun? And they were in need of a judge to measure the distance each dog jumped. Whoever had heard of such a thing? Certainly not us. I recommended he check to see what all the splashing was about.

Laying aside any doubt, my logically-minded son inquired, found favor in the interview, and was offered the position. Now came the hard part. Making his decision. Should he keep his job at Staples? Or was it time to do a new thing? Security can be a hard thing to let go of. And the willingness to take the road most often unexplored, the “road not taken” as the poet Frost waxed eloquent. So my son checked in with me again. Travel the blasted beaten path? Or dare he join in with the dogs? I was elated! Jump in with the dogs! Travel! Go on adventures! Say good-bye to the collared shirt, the time clock, the condescension of the manager. And so he did.

The Pre Epilogue

And my son never looked back. He loved the job and he loved the dogs, observing the behaviors quirkiness of each breed as they waited for the signal to jump. And on the human side of the equation, he became a member of the family and an integral part of the family business as he brought innovation through his technical skills he brought to the team. And even after all these years later he still keeps in touch with this family. However, it was one of those opportunities that could easily have been undiscovered because it was so far outside the status quo. But this is not the end of the story. Or if it is, it begins yet another…

The Unimaginable and Unforeseeable

It was just another event. Sitting outside for two days in an outdoor both of sorts, my son was doing what had become so familiar. Except this time, one of the family members was unable to do his part. So a friend of the family stepped in to take his place. And sit and work alongside my son for the duration of the event. And her name was Lillian, and she’d just endured a bad break-up. So bad, one of her comments to my son included the phrase, “If I ever date again.” But that weekend conversation with this fellow college student heightened my son’s senses toward the female persuasion, particularly this female. He’d had his nose to the grindstone, concentrating on his studies since his years in community college and now beyond, in his studies at OSU - and all this after an infatuation at age 17 with a girl that produced enough red flags to equip an entire football team - but now he was more mature. Settled. Ready to venture out with more emotional stability.

And that’s why he waited six months to suggest a hike together, as their outdoor interests nicely coincided. And she accepted. And a relationship began to blossom slowly. And ever so quietly, but by the time my husband and I moved back to Oregon, my son was ready to share the cards he’d been holding close to his chest and introduce us to his “official” girlfriend. And yes, the one who eventually became his wife. And from the moment I met Lillian, I knew she was the one. Call it a mother’s intuition, call it what you will. I just knew. Even before she knew. And the story of their courtship is another story altogether.

But all this to say - my son’s future wife showed up on a job site on a beautiful summer’s day, neither knowing exactly what their future held, neither knowing the future would hold them together, although at the time, each one separately held personal dreams and ambitions. It’s been eight years now since my son finally convinced Lillian to say “yes.” And it all started when he left behind the stale air of security and said “yes” to a more adventurous path, filled with fresh air and sunshine and most important of all, laughter.

Post-Script:

So I will continue to say to my cohorts and comrades - venture into the adventure of following your dreams. They’re not crazy. You’re not crazy. God gave you those dreams. Hold them tightly. Esteem them rightly.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Matthew 7:7

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the prize of the upward call of God in christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14